Amazing Baby

CONFRONT: Yeah; it’s the street the Simpsons live on.  That’s where they got their name.  But, they’re a Metal band, and he was telling me that he thinks that the recession is just going to kill music.  What’s your perspective?

WILL: I don’t necessarily agree.  I think you have to be more ingenious with your ideas.  They say art thrives during economic struggle.

SIMON: It could do one of two things.  It could kill music, or it could kill this kind of cash-cow Pop.  If people aren’t selling records anymore than maybe there’s not going to be a demand for things like Lady Gaga, who’s like, exploding.  But Lady Gaga I kind of like, I respect her, because she’s different.  Her songs aren’t very good but you know, but everything else about her is awesome.

WILL: You know, my old band played a show, somewhere like Finland, and she opened for us.  Lady Gaga opened for us, in like 2003.  And she opened in front of like 15 people.  It was like watching ‘Britney Spears: The Garage Days’ or something.  She came in and she was wearing this weird little thong bikini, there was one other girl that she was doing choreographed dances with…and she was like: “Oh my God!  Holy shit!  You guys fucking ruled!  You guys are like Thin Lizzy, you sound like the James Gang, I love that shit!  You guys are like Nazareth!  Yeah!”

CONFRONT: For some reason I saw that in my head like an episode of ‘Robot Chicken’!

WILL: I was like, “Y-eah…good luck to you…” and I thought to myself “She’ll never make it” and now I see her wearing bubble dresses on ‘Ellen’.

CONFRONT: That’s one that I don’t get either.

SIMON: Dude, what’s up with the ‘Red Green Show’?

CONFRONT: Oh, my God!  The ‘Red Green Show’ is one of those things that I don’t think I’m Canadian enough to “get”…it’s like ‘Due South’: I see those shows and I’m like, “Oh why?  This isn’t who we are!”

SIMON: I saw it in my hotel room last night and I thought it was, like, a ‘Saturday Night Live’ skit making fun of Canadians.

CONFRONT: Yeah, it would have been great if it was.

SIMON: But…it’s not!  And, my girlfriend’s Canadian, and I think she explained it, but I don’t understand.

WILL: I’ve never seen that.  What is it?

CONFRONT: It’s Steve Smith and Patrick McKenna they dress in lumberjack shirts with red and green suspenders and live in a sweat lodge.

SIMON: Will you know “Tool Time” on ‘Home Improvement’?  Imagine it was a real show.

CONFRONT: Yeah.

SIMON: There’s home improvement tips and techniques but really bad.

WILL: Is it real?

CONFRONT: No, it’s just a show.

SIMON: Sort of like ‘Trailer Park Boys’

CONFRONT: Well, the Catholic version of ‘Trailer Park Boys’ because they don’t swear and they try to be weird without being edgy.

SIMON: There was this sketch where he was like, “How many fish did you catch today” and the other guy said “Well, I caught a boot!”

CONFRONT: Yeah.  That’s why when we talk about Canadian comedy we try to steer the conversation towards ‘The Kids in the Hall’ and away from ‘The Red Green Show’.

SIMON: I know, but it was like, two in the morning, I was stoned and I just couldn’t stop watching.

CONFRONT: That’s probably the best way to enjoy ‘Red Green’!

SIMON: I tried to wake Will up but he was just “No leave me alone!” but I was, “But it’s so weird, dude!”

WILL: I think I’m going to sleep all day tomorrow.

SIMON: Yeah!  We had one fucking hell of a ride in!

WILL: Yeah, our van was stolen.

CONFRONT: Was it stolen here in Montreal?  Because that fucking happens a lot here.

SIMON: No, it was stolen two hours before we were supposed to leave, last night.

WILL: Apparently we have to be really careful about that.  My girlfriend is in a band called the Golden Triangle and they were playing a show up here a couple months ago and their van got broken into.

SIMON: What actually happened was our van didn’t REALLY get stolen; our van WAS stolen, and we rented a stolen van.  And so the cops saw it, and came scanned the license plate and we were waiting, because the tour manage told us to pick up our shit, and when we got there the van was gone.  And so when we called the cops they were like, “Oh!  YOUR van?” so it ended up that we’d rented a stolen van.  And when it was finally sorted, we left at five in the morning.

WILL: Yeah, and I didn’t get ANY sleep last night!

CONFRONT: Yeah, the drive from New York is brutal.

WILL: Seriously!  I was planning on leaving, planning on sleeping in the van and then at the hotel tonight.  Instead, I drank Sangria all day, went to a huge house party, then went to a bar, and I got wasted last night, and I didn’t get any sleep.  And you know what’s such a buzz kill is the border, dude.  Oh my God!  They really just ride you.

SIMON: Well it fucking scared me, because I HAVE been arrested many times.  But it was all when I was young so it’s off my record.

CONFRONT: The border kind of creeps me out too.  For me it’s not so bad returning from the United States because, they asked “You bring anything back?” and I said, “Yeah I loaded up the trunk with Ben and Jerry’s”

SIMON: Did you really do that?

CONFRONT: Yep!  I’d gone to the states to tour the factory with my God-daughter and we brought a cooler and we decided “Let’s go nuts and buy a bunch” because my wife and I were with our God-daughter who was five at the time.

WILL: Can you not get it here?

CONFRONT: Yeah, but it’s cheaper at the factory

SIMON: It’s expensive ice cream

CONFRONT: And, it was last year or the year before, back when the Canadian dollar was actually kicking the American dollar’s ass?

WILL: That’s gotta be a fun experience.

CONFRONT: Yeah, it was “Hey!  Let’s go to America!  Our dollar’s worth…A DOLLAR!” it was like the first time in my life that it was like that.  So, we should wrap this up; is there anything you’d like your new fans in Montreal to know?

WILL: Yes!  We will have a new single coming out in August.

SIMON: Is it August?

WILL: Yes; it’s August 12—hopefully.

SIMON: Basically, we haven’t stopped writing music; we have a new EP that’s coming out and hopefully a new album soon.

CONFRONT: Well thank you guys, it’s been terrific, and I hope to see you guys back in Montreal sometime soon!

WILL: I really appreciate it, man.

CONFRONT: Thanks a lot!

Amazing Baby are currently touring to promote ‘Rewild’, and the live show is even better than the album, which is in and of itself pretty amazing, baby.  If they’re not already part of your musical awareness, they should be.

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